So Izzy loves scribbling wee notes.  She gave me two to read.  Not proper words, you understand, so I asked her what they said.  She said that the one for Anne read;
Dear Mummy,
I love you so much.  You are the best Mother in the world,
Love

Izzy

And the one to me?

Dear daddy,
I love you so much.  You are a big, buoffy, fat daddy-man.
Love
Izzy

Kids.  And I have a lost about 15lbs!

Very busy at the moment.  House purchase in Princeton is under attorney review, so assuming nothing goes wrong, we might be the new owners of a house shortly.  In negotiations to buy a small granje near the ranch in Brazil.  Owner has refused our first offer but we will not budge - it is not worth more and we don't want taken for a ride just because we are gringos.  Izzy starts new school, the Waldorf, next week.  Joey back to school as well, and we are hoping that he will be OK.  We are researching homeschooling, just in case!
Deadline for fundraising for the Bioeconomy Institute is 12 April.   Not sure if we will get the matching funds.  Right down to the wire.
And my new sales job with North American Power is starting to take off.  I have enrolled my first customer, have several commitments to do so but, more importantly, have a number of good people and organisations seriously considering it.  If only half of them come through, it will be the basis of a good business - and being able to make a real difference by switching people from fossil fuels to renewables. 

Kids have been in great form.  Off to Ridgewood to spend night with in-laws.

I do enjoy the evening ritual.  Usually.  Anne normally takes Izzy up to bed, between 7:00 and 7:30.  Despite the fact tat she has her own lovely bedroom with Princess bed, she does not use it.  Anne reads to her in our bed and then lets her fall asleep there.  30 minutes later, Joey's turn.  Up he goes and whilst he is brushing his teeth, I pull out the trundle bed from underneath his bunk bed.  I read to him for a while before he is ready to fall asleep. 

Before we go to bed, I will pick up Izzy from our bed, and take her into Joey's room, where she will sleep on the trundle, next to Joey.  Like two little angels.  Hmm.

Izzy is delighted as she has been accepted into the Waldorf School, starting next week.  Strange how she is so excited.  She is not exactly unhappy where she is, although she has been grumbling a bit recently.  We think that it might be the prospect of making bread one a week, which they do at the Waldorf.

Joey has been a bit edgy last couple of days, and a bit teary.  Anne gave him some cough medicine yesterday morning and wonders if that may have triggered it, as it contains sugar.  That would be the first sugar he has consumed in about a month.    Might also be thinking about return to school next week.

On the plus side, even when he has become edgy and teary, it is nothing like it used to be, so there is great progress.

Big week for work coming up soon.  March 31 is the deadline set for getting the matching funds to launch the Bioeconomy Institute.  4-5 companies still considering.

And should hear level of interest in NA Power from the mayor and a few other key figures.  It's all go!

So, a pleasant evening last night with my lovely wife as we made some decisions.  Over a tad too much wine.  First is that we will buy the house that we looked at near Princeton.  Our dream house?  No, but no work needed, good configuration, decent yard (2.5 acres), pool and within easy cycling distance of Princeton - and a longish walk.

Two - we will get an au pair, a Brazilian, a man.  No, this is not Anne not trusting me to be alone with a cute Brazilian.  But we think that an active young man would be really good for the kids.  And ease the pressure on us.

Third - looks as though we will buy some extra land near the ranch.  A small grange, about 26 hectares.  Well watered, Juarez will use it to grow produce and feed for the cattle.  But we also think that it would be a good investment.

I think that we also decided some other stuff.  But I can't remember.

Email from Brazilian lawyer;

Anne, bom dia.

 

De fato, encaminhei um advogado ao Julgamento que informou que o Superior Tribunal de Justiça negou provimento ao agravo regimental do Paulo Moura.

 

Ele pode interpor o recurso de embargos de declaração, no prazo de 10 dias, a ser contado da intimação do Defensor Público. Acredito que em 1 mês tenhamos um decisão final.

 

Só precisamos ter um pouco mais de paciência. Está acabando!

 

Abraços,

Basically, Shorty has one more appeal, which he must do in 10 days.  She believes that, assuming he does, we will have a final decision in one month.  One month.  Can that be true?  Could we spend this summer on the ranch?  Fingers crossed.

Anne looked on the court website.  The court has given a 'final judgement' in our favour.  Clearly good news, but what does it mean exactly?  Is it really the end of the road?  Or is there another appeal, or two?  We need tp know.

But we spent a pleasant hour last night over a bottle or two of wine imagining what we will do if we can go back to the ranch this summer.  Bliss.

I have been invited up to meet the CEO of North American Power, the company that I am trying to sell renewable energy for.  I have put some ideas forward around getting the town involved so this will be a great opportunity to discuss them.

Meeting with school director went very well yesterday.  We had feared that we would get a last warning for Joey but she was v positive, had some ideas (including medicating him, which we would only do as a very, very last resort) and is clearly fond of Joey, sees the great potential that he has and regards him as one of a kind, in a positive way!

Great news and big day today.  Brazilian lawyer emailed us yesterday to say;

O agravo regimental interposto pelo Paulo Moura será julgado no dia 21/3/2013, amanhã, às 14 horas.

 

Solicitarei a um advogado para acompanhar o julgamento e lhe posicionaremos em seguida. 

 

I short, there will be a judgement today on Izzy's case.  This was very much out of the blue and we are not sure what it means exactly.  But it is movement, and much quicker than we expected.  So, fingers crossed!

Interesting little exchange with a neighbor.  He son is a great wee kid but also suffers from some social skills issues - he is slightly autistic.  Generally Aaron and Joey play pretty well together but it ended rather badly last time.  Hence the exchange below between Anne and the Mum.
 

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry, right?  They said hi outside today.  Glad Izzy is feeling better.  Would you be able to have Jess from 9-11 Thursday?  I was supposed to be in Arron's classroom but it's no big deal to cancel.  Let me know what you think...

xxx

On Mar 18, 2013, at 10:29 PM, Gery Juleff <gjuleff@hotmail.com> wrote:

Izzy seems to be over whatever bug she had. Fingers crossed she's OK tomorrow. We'll definitely get them back together soon. It's not surprising they run into the occasional difficulty when one has trouble verbalising and the other can't read nonverbal cues!Joey thought the play date was going great until Arran announced that he wanted to go home. Our work is cut out for us but I think when the weather improves and they can play outside they'll be fine.

We'll talk soon and let's aim for Friday morning for Isabela and Jess.

Anne

 

---

From: xxxxx
Subject: Re:
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2013 21:16:59 -0400
To: gjuleff@hotmail.com

Oh Hi Anne!  I didn't see these til now and thanks for both messages.  I came to email you to see how the meeting went... sorry it got cancelled.  Please let me know when you get it rescheduled and I'll hopefully be free to watch the kids.  Maybe it's best for the breather... I also feel so badly Arron blew up at the boys' playtime.  I also hope they can put it behind therm.  It's so tough when two kids without a complete set of social skills between them have a dispute; neither knows how to handle it.!!! We'll talk more off line and plot a regroup for them.  Hope Izzy feels well soon and no one else gets it!  Think Friday am, perhaps?

xxxx

On Mar 18, 2013, at 12:13 PM, Gery Juleff <gjuleff@hotmail.com> wrote:

xxx

In the end the meeting was canceled because both Isabela and the principals had a stomach virus. Poor Izzy threw up twice this morning and she's now passed out. I changed the care plans because I was worried about my two misbehaving and disrupting Kevin's phone call at 11:00. Isabela had been very whiney and sensitive the last two days (I now know why) and I was worried that Joey might be agitated in your house after the dispute. If he hadn't had a phone call it would have been fine but I didn't want to risk it. Besides, without Jess around, playing with Lynedon would have been more fun for Izzy and Joey can certainly be home alone if there is a next door neighbour around.

Let's try to do something later this week if Izzy's up for it.

Anne

Great way to start the day.  Joey came down as I was working and said that the first thing that he wanted to do this morning was give me a big hug.  Which he did!  Followed by Izzy.  Great to see the two kids in such good form.

Poor Izzy was rather off colour for a few days, with an upset tummy.  We suspect that she ate too much cake on Joey's birthday. Anne makes the cakes with lots of nuts (almond flour) so she just might have had some problems digesting it all.  Happily, she is much perkier now.  Unfortunately, we had to cancel her 'interview' with the Waldorf School yesterday. 

We also had to cancel the meeting with the Director of Joey's school, who had asked that we come and speak to her about Joey, as she was ill.  Should take place in the next couple of days.

Joey has been in great form for the last couple of days.  Played really nicely either by himself or with Izzy.  No significant over-reaction.  Energetic without being manic.  Funny, imaginative, affectionate. 
Why the change?  Not 100% sure.  Perhaps the diet is kicking in.  We have spoken to him about the over-reaction and emphasized that, now that he is 10 years old, he cannot do this - and also warned him that as of today, we would be having a zero-tolerance policy towards it.  We have also spoken more to him about his early days and even shown him the street where he was born - amazing what you can do with Google Earth now!  He is off school for 2 weeks, which no doubt helps. Whatever the reasons, he has calmed down and seems much happier.  Let's hope it continues.

 Possibly worst St Paddies Day so far? Went to local pub. Bad 'Irish' singer singing rebel songs. Barmen got uptight when I pointed out how to pour Guinness properly, Two mates turned up who had two pints each. Pub closed at 10.30. Oh for the days in Rio when Andy Mac went for 20 pints at Padraigs Irish pub, or New York when the music was great at Eammons's or the Green Derby, or Kampala when the nuns sang and we all danced, or Kinshasa when we danced on the bar. Still, it is small town America and it is Sunday night so shouldn't have expected too much. And it was a 'Hungarian' bar, and they are a nice bunch. It is what it is.

Joey has had a great birthday so far.  Excited and enjoying it, but well-behaved with it.  Hos main problem has been that he over-reacts to every little disappointment, and in a way that sounds like a 2 year old rather than a 10 year old at times.  He must stop this and Anne and I have now spoken to him about a new regime.  After a couple of days 'transition', every time he does that moan, he will have 3 seconds to stop (initially) or will be sent to castigo or  lose his privileges  - TV and minecraft.  We have told him that as a 10 year old, he cannot behave this way, that it drives us nuts and makes us all unhappy.  He has responded well during this transition period, hopefully it will last.

Received a lovely message from his Brazilian friend, maury;
oi joey sou eu maury feliz aniversario tenha um dia bem feliz e divertido queria estar ai com vocer para comemorar o seu aniversario mais eu vou sempre estar do seu lado seu amigo maury

Last bit reads 'wish I was there but will always be at your side, your friend Maury'.

So a lot going on at the moment.  I am busy with both my projects.  Raising funds for the Bioeconomy Institute - need to get the $1m in place by 31 March to unlock other funds.  Nothing so far but we have support from KPMG and 5 companies considering.  We shall see.  Then there is the renewable energy work.  Again, I have not actually enrolled anyone yet, but have put in some good groundwork, am talking to some good people and organisations and am hopeful for a breakthrough soon.  It would be nice to start earning some money after all this investment in time and effort.

And we are househunting.  Saw some lovely houses yesterday.  We are working on the assumption that a) there will be nothing available in Hopewell Borough ie in walking distance of the pub and b) that Joey will not be at Cambridge after this school year.  He will either be at the new, small school in Princeton or being home-schooled.  Saw one yesterday, currently owned by an Irish poet, which used to be a tavern and in which George Washington is believed to have supped a pint or two! Who says there is no history in America!

As regards Joey, he has had better days Wednesday and yesterday.  Anne and I need to sit down and think how best to address his concerns over his birth mother.  If that is what is making him like this, then it is a relief in the sense that at least we know and can hopefully reassure him and get him happier again.

Home-schooling would be challenging.  We would need tutors and have to put a lot of thought into it. His teacher thinks that it might be the best option;

He had a very good day with my class and I haven’t heard anything from anyone else.  I still think that he would benefit from a home schooling type of learning.  He is so smart and there could be a concentration on his interests.  There would be less stress and he could do social things in small groups. 

Stephanie,

I wanted to let you know a few things. First, Deb has requested a meeting with us on Monday. She forwarded the e-mail we received from Cari about Joey's misbehaviour and said she wanted to discuss it. We have a feeling that Joey might not be welcome there next year. Which would at least solve the dilemma of whether or not we sign the contract.

The other thing I wanted to share with you is a text I received from xxxxxxx. I saw her briefly yesterday and mentioned that Joey had been unhappy. She asked xxx about this and he said, "Joey is sad because his mom didn't want him and his mom isn't his real mom". This is the first negative comment we have heard Joey make about his adoption. He has been more unhappy than usual at home but when we talk to him he always says he doesn't know what's bothering him. Perhaps his approaching birthday has stirred up some emotions and his adding to his anxiety. We will obviously talk to him about his adoption and hopefully he will feel better. We don't want to betray xxxx's confidence , so we won't mention this exchange, but we are very glad Naomi told us and we wanted to let you know as well.

Anne

Joey has had a rough couple of days at school.  It is almost as if he has decided that he doesn't want to stay and is deliberately misbehaving.  After all the progress that we had had with the diet etc, this is very frustrating and disappointing.  The Director has asked to see us next week.  Not good news.

Some sad correspondence with Ahmed about Joey and boxing;

Good morning Ahmed,

I am very sorry to say that, for the time being at least, Joey will not be returning to boxing.  Essentially, he has had some social problems at school.  Nothing major but on a couple of occasions there has been some sort of argument with another kid and Joey has taken up a boxing stance ready to defend himself/attack.  I personally see nothing wrong in that, but the school has a zero tolerance for any sort of fighting and his teacher, who is very much on Joey's side, has said that if Joey was to throw a punch and connect, he risks being expelled.  I still strongly believe that boxing is good for Joey on so many levels but we cannot risk him being expelled.  Whether the school is right or wrong to take this attitude (and my feelings would probably be similar to yours) is irrelevant - it I what it is and we are not going to change that. 

It is a real pity.  I think that Joey has really benefitted from the time that Joey ha spent with you and am very grateful for the way in which you have encouraged and coached Joey.  I will also miss the sessions - I was hoping to take it more seriously and use the boxing as a way to get back into better shape. I hope that circumstances change and that Joey (and I)will be able to return, but for the time being we will have to find something else to do on a Saturday morning.

Thanks again, good luck with the gym and I hope that we can resume in the future.

Best regards

 

Gery

 

Hey Gery,

So sorry to hear that Joey will not be boxing any more. I am no longer shocked at the school's positions. It is pretty Pathetic that we cannot teach our children to defend themselves against unprovoked aggression! Thank you for your kind words and trust in my training. Please do not forget that Joey isn't gonna spend the rest of his life in a school. One day he will graduate and he should know how to stand up for himself. This is not about fighting, it is about learning to be a confident man who is willing to stand for his beliefs.

Best of luck to both of you and hope to have you back in the gym again.

Thank you once again for your kind words and your business.

Ahmed

 

We are on the same page on this, my friend!  Such is 'progress'  Small as he is and with his attitude. Joey WILL need to be able to look after himself!.    One day we will be back in the gym, I hope.

I have been making very slow progress in my new business venture, basically trying to sell renewable energy.  But had a very good meeting today with the head of an environmental not-for-profit who is very interested in signing her organisation up.  That would give me access to 6500 members.  If I only got even 20% of them to sign up, I would start to make some decent money.  Not counting chickens yet but fingers crossed.

A better day for Joey today, thank goodness.

I have become an activist!  Following on from a Bill McKibben talk I want to at Rutgers some time ago, I went to a meeting of the New Jersey Climate Action Network Sunday evening.   Little bit like the scene ion 'Life of Brian' where all the rebels break up into factions over tiny nuances in positions but great to see so much passion and enthusiasm. 

On a different subject - I am wasting away!  Down to 195lbs this morning, less than 14 stone!  never thought that I would reach that weight again. 

Finding it hard to type this but we are still struggling with Joey, despite the progress made with his diet and behavior most of the time.  We learned yesterday that he was not well-behaved during the rehearsal for the school play on Saturday.  He would not focus and kept messing about.  Then Mrs H told Anne after school yesterday that he a) had some sort of confrontation with another kid during break and b) did not really do the work in class.

Then at home he was very difficult with Anne during homework.  He was struggling with his maths but refused to let Anne help him then became very 'difficult'.  Anne lost it a bit and was very upset.  It all escalated and there were tears all around.  I was in the basement with Izzy trying to distract her but she gets upset when she hears this, understandably. 

Ms H thinks that Joey might do best with home schooling. She hopes that he will finish out the year at Cambridge but fears that he is simply not keeping up and will struggle even more next year.  It is not that he is not smart enough - he is.  But he will not focus enough and therefore is not absorbing the knowledge that he needs to progress.    

It is so frustrating.  He is such a great kid in so many ways but simply will not try hard enough often enough.  We are not sure what to do.

Anne had a great weekend in NYC with Rob.  Was a little bit 'tired' Sunday morning!  But it was good that she got out and had some fun.  The kids were good with me and we all had a good time.  I took then to an interactive play in Princeton Sunday afternoon based on the Odyssey, which Joey loved.  I do think that he has real potential in the theatre. 

Anne in NYC with big brother at Allman Brothers concert. Just got a text saying that she will be back tomorrow. Maybe. Clearly enjoying herself far too much and being led astray by Rob. Kids have been great for me.

Joey and boxing;  Joey had a very good day at school today.  But there was one incident at lunch.  Not sure what started it but it seems that Joey was more sinned against than sinner.  But then over-reacted, not in the sense of crying but in squaring up to the other kid and taking a boxing stance.  It seems that there might well have been a fight had not a teacher intervened.  It also seems that a kid might get expelled for getting in a fight like this.  Not like in my day where if we were caught fighting and refused to make up, we were put in the boxing ring to sort it out.

Mrs H thinks that Joey should stop the boxing.  I am reluctant but understand.  I think that boxing is good for Joey and still believe that a boy/man does need to be able to look after himself physically.  You never know what might happen, and it is good for confidence.  Particularly if you are on the small side.  But we cannot risk Joey getting expelled so, sadly, I will take Ahmed that we will do the boxing no more.  A pity, as I was looking forward to using it to get fit as well!

Joey won his yellow belt at Taekwondo today, and a trophy.  He was delighted with himself.  The instructor said that he was the most enthusiastic student.  More photos at http://www.flickr.com/photos/16275813@N03/

Saw 3 houses today.  None perfect - one rather sad in that the house and outbuildings clearly a vibrant, working farm and community at one point, but the house looks as if it has not been touched since the 50s and would need a huge amount of work.  Second one in much better nick but would still need a lot of work.  Third one has a lovely, modern and well-cared for house.  In the woods with some 12 acres.  But is more expensive and isolated.  Hm,mm.  We need to see some more.

Off to school tomorrow to see Joey tested for hus yellow belt at Tae Kwon Do.

Good to be home and settling in again.  Went to the docs to get results of blood tests.  Nothing too worrying, but also not exactly quite the clear bill of health that I would have liked.  In short, some indicators of risk of cardio-vascular disease.  So, finally have given up the one habit that dare not be spoken about, cut down on the booze a bit, diet is good and more cardio-vascular exercise.  Back to the docs in 6 mths to see how it is going.  Key will be the nasty habit so that is now officially gone.

Looking at houses again tomorrow.  Nothing in the Borough, so we are looking outside.  The kids really do miss having space, as do we.  We also do like being able to walk into town but the main reason for that has been to go in with the kids for pizza, ice cream etc, which we can't do anymore.  So balance of advantages has maybe moved again in favour of some space just outside of town.

A nice email from Joey's maths teacher today;

Hi Gery and Ann,

 I just wanted to let you know that Joey had a great class today in math. It took about the first 10-15 minutes for him to transition into the class which is typical for him but once he settled in he did very well. He was participatory, stayed on pace the entire class and was very cooperative. I meant to tell him how proud I was of him after class but another teacher needed to speak with me so I will tell him so tomorrow.

 I will let you know any observations I notice the rest of the week.

 Best,

 Kristen

Mrs H also said that he had a  very good day (once he got over his usual first 10 minutes of grumpiness) and he was good at home. 

Baixonho has appealed already.  Well, that window of hope did not last very long.  Damn.

So, Saturday afternoon and  am at my sister's house in Kent.  I have been staying with my Dad but he has no internet connection so I come over here to work.  I was planning to go home yesterday, but the work on the Bioeconomy Institute is going really well and I judged that it would be really useful to have another few days here.  So, more meetings with colleagues and with Shell Monday, and then home.  It will be good to be back.

Dad – been good to stay a couple of nights with my Dad.  We are clearly getting more sensible, or just older, as our wine intake was very limited.  He is in good form, agreeing with his doctor yesterday that he could come off his medication.  He is tired of taking it and doesn’t think that it will make much difference.  I have told him that I will buy a decent juicer so that he can get all his nutrients and vitamins naturally, which might help take the place of the medicines.

But he has not entirely mellowed. He complains (rightly) that cars drive far too fast through the village, Appledore, including the little stretch outside his house, where there is no pavement.  He reacted to one car doing so as he was walking the dog by cracking his walking stick down on the roof a speeding car, as it passed.  Unfortunately, it was a police car, which screatched to a halt. Copper got out and asked my dad what the hell he thought he was doing.  Dad said that he was driving dangerously fast.  Copper said he was on an emergency.  Dad said, ‘Bollox.  In that case you would have had lights and siren on’.  Copper muttered and got back in car and drove off!  One for my Dad but I hope that he doesn’t do it too often.

 

Izzy – we heard from the lawyer in Rio.  The Supreme Court have – refused Baixinho’s latest appeal!  Great news.  And very dismissively as well.  As far as we can make out, he has 10 days to appeal (working days, we think) but, as always, there is some confusion.  It seems that this period will only start once the Ministerio Publico is officially informed - which also takes about 10 days.  So 20 working days in total.  We have asked the lawyer for clarity on that.  Clearly, this is excellent news but we have been disappointed too often in the past to start counting any chickens.  Hopefully, we will know by sometime in mid-March whether this is really over, or whether Baixinho takes it to the next step.  Yes, there is another appeal, possible two!.  Vamos ver!

Joey – last Friday and Saturday were difficult, as Anne was introducing the new food regime, ie moving away completely from complex carbohydrates.  Joey’s behavior worsened and he was too hyper, sensitive and over-reacted when things did not go his way.  Both Anne and I, regrettably, lost it with him on occasion.  I was starting to think that I should not go to the UK, leaving Anne alone to manage.  But she, God bless her, encouraged me to go – I have spent the best part of a year working on this and this was an important week.  Fortunately, Joey was already better Sunday and so here I am.

Anne has kept me informed of progress – and there has now been real progress.  Monday night, Joey came downstairs after he had heard Anne talking to her sister-in-law Carole on the ‘phone about his diet.  He told Anne that he was starting to feel better and that he thought that the diet was working.  He was very positive and calmer.  This has, broadly, continued this week so that is great news.  Anne has also worked hard to avoid stress in the evening.  We know that Joey struggles sometimes when his schedule is upset, when there are surprises that appear to affect what he wants to do.  This can happen even when we have dinner a bit late and then everything is rushed, or when we aren’t clear about what is going to happen.  So – make sure dinner is on time (1700-1730 at latest), set out what will happen after dinner, make sure that Izzy gets to bed on time and then have the time to get Joey into bed without rushing.  We also have made clearer to Joey what he is and is not allowed as regards TV etc.  He is allowed 20 minutes of Minecraft, and 15 minutes of ‘rubbish’ on the computer, both early.  Then he is allowed some more time with TV but only if it is educational eg nature, science etc.  Anne has taken to watching this with him on the sofa and this seems to calm him down nicely and prepare him for bed.

So all positive steps.  Another corner turned?

This is rather an important week for the family, and I am stuck on a train from Ashford to Charing Cross.  To be fair, it is also an important week for my work with the Bioeconomy Institute, which is why I am in the UK.  It is going very well – KPMG have agreed to support us and that was entirely due to me, which is pleasing.  Their support gives us more credibility when engaging with potential funders, so that is really helpful.  But on to more important things.