We are getting better with Joey.  Not losing our tempers or allowing an incident to escalate but not allowing him to get away with anything.  Keep things short term, ie 'if you carry on with your behaviour, x will happen now'.  Give him a choice if possible.  'OK, if you think diner is horrible, don't eat it but there will be nothing else until breakfast'.  We are also bribing him with a points system where he can gain points for good behaviour, and lose for bad behaviour.  He can get some specific toys when he wins enough points.  It works.