Anne went to lunch with her realtor yesterday and came back 5 hours later, rather tipsy!  In bed having a nap now.

Too hot; still in the 80s or 90s each day.  Too hot to do much so kids are watching more DVDs than usual.  Still, won't kill them.

Alexander left today.  We will miss him.  Such a lovely kid.  Yet again, a visit without a single scowl, tantrum, moment of sadness, angry episode or anything negative.  Unbelievable.  Everything is 'fine'.  happy to do whatever we suggest.  Puts up with Joey and Izzy's 'moments'.  But not a pushover.  Great sense of dry humour.  Interested in current events and really curious.  He really enjoyed his stay here, genuinely I think, and is keen to return.  The house will seem quieter without him.  Highlights?  I asked him and he said that he enjoyed it all.  My guess?  Playing chess with Granddad.  Helicopter ride.  The rides at the funfair.  The Labrynth at Mohink.  Getting hugs from Izzy (my, how she adores him, and bosses him around, and how he loves it!).  Running around with Joey and having long discussions with him in the back of the car about who would win between...........lets say one million startroopers armed with machine guns plus Noisy Boy from Real Steel against a thousand tanks armed with laser guns.

Up and down with Joey;  some good days but some not good ones, with Joey letting his anger and frustration out.  Not pleasant and very sad to see.

Looking old;  went to the local diner after boxing with dad, Alex and Joey.  Anne and Izzy joined us.  Waiter asked me if Anne was my daughter.  What is it with Yanks and my age?

Three generations of the from around the world coming together at the festival are Gary Jueff, of Hopewell, his son, Alex, visiting from Sweden, and Kitto Jueff, visiting from Cornwall, United Kingdom






Went to local music festival with my Dad and Alex. Don't think that Dad quite understands rock chic but he was complimented by many on his appearance! And photographed.

We are getting better with Joey.  Not losing our tempers or allowing an incident to escalate but not allowing him to get away with anything.  Keep things short term, ie 'if you carry on with your behaviour, x will happen now'.  Give him a choice if possible.  'OK, if you think diner is horrible, don't eat it but there will be nothing else until breakfast'.  We are also bribing him with a points system where he can gain points for good behaviour, and lose for bad behaviour.  He can get some specific toys when he wins enough points.  It works.

The kids are all sleeping in the same room these days.  this was forced on us by the sleeping arrangements whilst away and now Izzy hates sleeping by herself.  Still, seems to work out OK.

The Jersey Shore is a bit like Blackpool, only the people are even fatter, at least in the Boardwalk bit.  Quite scary, really.  So much junk food and rubbish drinks and so many fat kids.  We really needs to do something about this obesity epidemic.  Alex is in reasonably good shape but the kid would eat junk all day if we allowed him.  It is hard to keep on top of him when we are eating out a lot and we are trying to impress on him the importance of a good diet buit I am not sure how much has sunk in.  Time to watch some scary documentaries with him.

Good to have my Dad here.  He seems to be enjoying it.  Taking it reasonably easy so fare.  Off to a Monster Truck rally this evening.  Should be interesting!

So it has been raining a bit in the UK; well, it is brutally hot here and I am not sure which I prefer.  Expected to be 97 degrees today and it is pretty bloody humid as well.  Not a great deal that you can do outside when it is like this.  It cools down to only 89 tomorrow and then a refreshing 74 Friday (thank goodness - I am due to spend the morning volunteering at the local St Michael Preserve, weeding etc.)

We were down at the Jersey Shore for 3 days to Monday in Anne's Aunt's house, with the air conditioning broken.  Managed OK because it was a we bit cooler and there was a bit of a breeze but glad that we are not there now.  We did, however, witness a quite magnificent storm.  We watched it on the horizon for an hour or so, flashes of lightning illuminating the dark horizon every few seconds.  It didn't seem to be moving at all quickly and we went to bed.  Twenty minutes later, the house started to shake and we ran around closing all the windows and then sat as we watched something like a scene from 'The Perfect Storm' (in miniature, of course) as the wind howled and the lightning lit up the waves.  Quite impressive!

Bugger.  Just realised that left laptop down at the Jersey Shore.  That means a 3hr round-trip in next couple of days.  Bugger.

Been away at Mohonk Mountain House and then the beach, with o access to internet, so behind on my blog.  Apologies.  Will seek to catch up this evening.  But all is well.  Household is at 6 with arrival of my Dad to join us.

Boxing; good session for the boys on Saturday.  I did not participate as I wanted to let the focus on the boys.  And partly because I was out until 0300 and woke up late!  Alex enjoyed it, which was good.  But he is not fit and is unable to do things like press-ups.  I have started doing them with him myself at home.  For every one he does, I do five!

Let's try food; we have started Joey on a high-protein diet.  Home-made smoothie and eggs for breakfast.  It does seem to help.  We are also trying to get an appointment with a nutrition specialist (just forgot how to spell nutritionist - but have now remembered!)

Good day in some ways yesterday.  But not so good for Joey.  Spent the day over at Bruce's, hanging out with the family around the pool.  Anne was up in Ridgewood because brother Hank was there.  So lots of time in the pool, in the sun, having fun.  But Joey was tired (se post re Izzy) and over-reacted on a couple of occasions to being told to stop playing Wii and to the fact that we had to go.  Way over-reacting.  No Mum to use her magic on him.  Then, of course, he is all upset and in tears at home.  It will not be an easy road, this one.

The midnight stalker; Izzy is killing us.  Middle of the night, wandering around the house, putting all the lights on downstairs, trying to get into bed and waking us all up.  This is what happens when she has a few days sleeping with somebody else.  We end up with Joey coming in to us at 0200, indignant, to tell us that Izzy has woken the boys up.  And they need their sleep.

Izzy is so Brazilian; 'My bum-bum is gorgeous!' she sang as we drove along.  God help mr in 10 yrs time.

From the sublime to the ridiculous; Monday evening at the Iron Maiden/Alice Cooper concert in Newark with loads of fat middle-aged blokes with beer guts and tattoos.  Last night in New Hope with old mate Chris 'Down-Town' Brown and surrounded by hundreds of pretty girls parting.  'Tis good to look.  Quite a party town, New Hope, and it was great to catch up with Chris, who I had known in NYC in the '90s.  He is a good bloke and the beers went down well and the chat flowed.  Along with the pretty girls, what more can you ask for?

Love the barn!  And the rest of the house on Broad Street isn't bad either.  The barn is massive - a century old structure that has been well-maintained without being modernised.  Room for 2 cars easily downstairs plus the old stables plus loads of storage space.  Up stairs is equally big and high enough that we are seriously thinking of putting the trampoline in there during the winter.  Should we buy it.  The house is bigger than expected - just the right size, and a lovely house with some history.  Used to be owned by doctors who would head out on calls using the horses stabled in the barn.  No separate study, unfortunately, but plenty of room in the master suite and there is always the barn!  Land is a bit short, but there is easy access to the Hopewell Park a couple of hundred feet away.  House is equidistant between the pub and liquor store - about 3 mins to each!  It is right next door to a restaurant so we would be tormented by lovely cooking smells (it is a good restaurant!).  Hopewell being a fairly quite place, it would be unlikely that there would be a lot of noise.  So we are interested and will pursue.

Good visit to the shrink; he basically confirmed what I thought.  That in our efforts to avoid conflict with Joey when he was going through difficult periods, we blurred the boundaries too much.  Joey pushes at the boundaries and his behaviour gets worse.  A matter of re-tweeking things, making sure that everything is clear, including consequences for both good and bad behaviour.  And greater consistency.  Also encouragement and reassurance, of course.  Dr B really seems to like Joey and thinks him v smart.  Good to get my concerns to some extent met and have my instincts on this reassured.  Anne and I do have a difference of view on this but it is one of degree more than anything else, and Anne is right in saying that I have to better choose what to demand of Joey and how I do it.  We will get there.

To buy or not to buy; we are back in house-buying mode.  We have to have confidence that Joey will last at Cambridge (a) because we think that he will and b) because the alternative is too grim to contemplate) and have therefore resumed house-hunting.  There is one big house in Pennington which is absolutely lovely.  Fairly old for this part of the world (1896) and beautifully maintained. Bigger and more expensive that we would have liked but we have to put our money somewhere and it might make a good investment.  Other possibility is a house on Broad Street here in Hopewell.  A wee bit on the small side, with a small lot, and it is on the main street.  But it does have a beautiful old barn at the back which might well make a great office and guest suite.  And it backs on to Hopewell Park with a great playground and loads of space.  And it is within stumbling distance of the pub.

Those darned lights; driving family to Anne's parents and there is one stretch with lots of lights, most of which seemed to be red.  Izzy pipes up; 'I really don't like those darn, darn, darn, darn lights.  Those lights are darn!'  Too true.

The international world of boxing;  took Joey and Alex for boxing last Saturday with Ahmed, our Palestinian coach.  Introduced Alex as my son from Sweden, at which point Ahmed welcomed him - in fluent Swedish. Alex was a bit gobsmacked but confirmed alter that, yes, Ahmed was speaking v good Swedish.  Turns out he had lived  a couple of years in Stockholm, coaching there.  Small world.

Seeing a shrink; I have booked in to see Dr Boyle later this week.  I am struggling with managing Joey and my relationship.  I need to better understand how to manage Joey's behaviour so that it does not end in conflict, as it is increasingly doing.  The difficulty is maintaining boundaries for behaviour whilst  avoiding aways being on his back and getting into fights.  I have to understand that Joey will always be impulsive and energetic, and will not think before he speaks.  That can often end in tears so his energy and imagination needs to be channeled and conflict avoided.  It can be done but will not be easy and we will need all the help we can get.

Talking of feeling good; I was in bits when we got back from the Rocking Horse Ranch.  I am the wrong side of 50 to go horse riding and water skiing every day.  Not to mention hours spent in the pool going down slides.  Ouch.

You haver to love Alex; as his reading material so far, he has chosen the history of the UDR and the history of London Irish RFC.  Not what you would expect from a 12 yr old boy.  Makes me feel good.

Joey clearly has ADD; and it will be challenging to manage it, but not impossible.  Although not officially diagnosed, we know enough about this stuff now to know that Joey fits the bill.  Explains a lot of the behaviour.  Combined with the dyslexia, should be a fun few years.