Kids in great form this morning.  Lots of laugher and giggles.  And tonight they have their first sleep-over!  We are heading up into NY State to Windham to spend the weekend with Lorna and family - including little Bruce and Fred.

Just watched Romney's acceptance speech.  How depressing!  What a load of shite and lies!

Spent the afternoon with Joey drifting down the Delaware River from Frenchtown on a couple of tubes.  Great fun, very relaxing and Joey at his funny, affectionate best.  Then rocking to 'Freebird' in the car on the way home.

One of the neighbours who came to dinner Tuesday has two autistic kids.  The other had two dyslexic kids.  What is it with this epidemic of children with difficulties?  Jenn, the first neighbour, has done quite a lot of research and seen specialists.  They have discovered, without going into too much detail, that some kids are unable to process properly all the toxic chemicals and heavy metals that are now in all of our children's bodies.  Most kids can get rid of these naturally but a substantial amount cannot and they are being effected by them.  She has put her kids on special diets with various supplements to build up their immune systems and has seen real progress.  By coincidence, Joey went to see the same doctor in Stockton that they use.  He did lots of blood, urine and hair tests.  We are due to go back on 10 September to discuss the results.  That should be interesting.

Interesting footnote.  Both mothers mentioned have joined their kids on the special diets (gluten-free) etc.  The fathers have not!  I wonder which way I will go if it comes to this.

Walked to get the paper and it was actually cool this morning!

I am annoyed at myself - the argument with Joey last night could have been avoided by me.  I took the position that a deal was a deal and 15 minutes was 15 minutes.  What I should have done was look at how much was left of what he was watching and been sensible.  If there was a lot, I could have said, OK, you can't watch it all but I'll give you 2 minutes more or whatever.  If there was going to be a slight over-run, I should have allowed it so that he could have finished what he was doing.  It IS important that Joey understand that a deal is a deal but getting into a fight over a minute or two of YouTube is silly and counter-productive.  Did I mentioned that I really, really hate bloody video games such as Mine Craft (it was what he was watching last night and it is scarily addictive for him).

The anxiety showed itself at bedtime today.  Joey had had a goo evening, coming back from the movies with Anne and Izzy at about 2000.  Whilst Anne was upstairs with Izzy, I made a deal with Joey that he could watch 15 minutes of Youtube if he then went upstairs with no problems and was good at getting into bed.  I gave him warnings and then told him that the 15 mins was up.  Tantrum due to the fact that towards the end the screen had frozen a  few times.  Faces, scowls, etc etc.  sadly I lost my temper a little as well.  Not a satisfactory end to the evening.

Went to see a school today, with Joey.  It has just opened, in Princeton, but is the offshoot of an older, well-respected school for dyslexics.  V small - only a dozen or so pupils so far.  Seems to have v good teaching staff and specialists.  And because it is so small, it can have the flexibility that we need to try and take the pressure of Joey a bit.  Joey came along and seemed to quite like it.  But he did show his anxiety on a couple of occasions, which the teachers we were talking to dealt with very well.

We also went to se the Principal at Cambridge.  She was very nice and open to ideas about easing Joey's anxieties, such as finishing early or having a v long lunch break to make the day easier, at the beginning.  So we will start with Joey returning to Cambridge with the option of shorter days and hope that once he gets settled in, the anxiety will lessen and he will thrive.  Fingers crossed.

Phone conversation went well.  I need to send some ideas in and then talk to the boss.  We shall see.

And I have a phone conversation tomorrow with somebody at bp re the possibility or being editor for a new website that they plan to create on biofuels.  Should be interesting.

Joey had a great couple of days at his grandparents.  No problems.  Lots of swimming, played with his friend there.  And has generally had a good time here after he got back after lunch, playing with kids from the 'hood, bit more TV than he wanted, playing soccer with Izzie and I (she is starting to show some promise!) but always with a bit of tension and his behaviour went down after we got him in to get ready for bed.  tantrums, tears, anger, cheek and generally deep frustration and sadness.  We are becoming increasingly desperate and worried.

Just heard from Anne that she will spend another day with her folks.  I'll stay out of the pub and actually get something concrete done this evening apart from watching war movies!  Kids are having a great time there - in and out of the pool and spending more time watching TV than they are allowed here!  Joey is doing well at his swimming.  He has always been a like a little fish in the water, since the ranch.  And he took lessons where he did well.  But he has always been reluctant to use the breast-stroke and free style techniques - fear of failure again, I think.  But Grandpa has his stopwatch out and is using that to time Joey which he is enjoying - and encouraging him to use those techniques.

Anne is increasingly worried about Joey's prospects at school.  He is very anxious about returning to school and his behaviour at times reflects that.  Whilst he has made so much progress in so many ways since we came here, he does not see that and looks at the negative aspects.  He still over-reacts at times, perhaps increasingly so, and talks about his unhappiness and having an empty heart.  Heartbreaking and very difficult for Anne and I.  We did find some information on General Anxiety Disorder on the web;

 Generalized Anxiety Disorder: 

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is characterized by excessive worrying about a variety of events, including those in the past, present, and future. Children with this disorder worry excessively about a number of issues, including past conversations or actions, upcoming events, school, family health, their own health, competence in sports or academics, and world events. Typically, children experiencing such excessive worry find it difficult to control the amount of time that they worry, and the worrying interferes in their daily life.

Primary Symptoms: 
Excessive anxiety and worry, occurring more days than not for at least six months, about a number of events or activities. The anxiety and worry are associated with at least three of the following six symptoms: restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge, being easily fatigued, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and sleep disturbance.

Treatment: 
The studies that have been done on the treatment of Generalized Anxiety Disorder in children have shown that education about the nature of anxiety, education about ways to identify, evaluate, and change anxious thoughts, and training in relaxation strategies have all been used with some success. Children with Generalized Anxiety Disorder are also taught to learn to recognize the physiological symptoms of anxiety, and are taught to use positive “self-talk” rather than negative self-talk. Parents are included to provide reinforcement and rewards for children’s success, and to learn to implement and practice the skills with their children.

Anne and the kids away at her parents for a day or so.  Watched a couple of good old British war movies and went to pub for a few quiet ones.  And it was quiet - everybody seems to be away or too broke!

Anne and Izzy came to watch Joey box this morning.  They were impressed - and rightly so.  He continues to make progress but, above all, shows determination and focus.

Have some interesting job options coming up now.  I have applied for a position at Princeton Uni.

The Manager, Business Development, Energy & Environmental Corporate Affiliates Program is responsible for managing the Princeton Energy and Environment Corporate Affiliates Program, under the direction of the Deputy Director of the ACEE and the supervision of the Associate Director of the ACEE. This is a new program and the Manager is responsible for assisting to help this start up become a nationally recognized corporate affiliates program. Members (and other affiliated associates) may represent large and small companies from the industrial sector, government and non-government organizations, national laboratories, venture capital firms, think tanks, and consortia. 

The goals of the program are to: 

* Discover, develop, and transfer to industry practical and transformative solutions to generate new profitable product lines, create investment opportunities for venture capital, revitalize the energy sector, and protect the environment. 
* Analyze and propose sound, viable policies, and develop robust quantitative economic models to enable rapid and large-scale adoption of energy and environmental solutions. 
* Create a think tank to inform corporate leaders, investors, and entrepreneurs on global energy and environment landscapes. 
* Provide preferential access to expertise in the science, engineering, and socio-economic aspects of energy and the environment. 
* Transform education in energy and environment disciplines through close teacher-practitioner-student interactions. 
To meet these goals, this person will initiate, build, and sustain relationships between corporate affiliate members and faculty and will manage the research, education, and operational components of the program. The Manager engages deans, directors, department chairs, faculty, and administrators to implement these and other activities and manage the program.  

Has some similarities to me last FCO job.  Application is in.  We shall see what happens.  I am not putting too much expectation into this as, even though I know I could do it, they do say that a Masters degree is desirable!

Also due to have a chat next week with bp about managing a biofuels info website.

The kids have been sleeping in the same room for a few months now.  Joey has a bunk bed, but we pull out the trundle bed fir Izzy to sleep on.  Funny thing is, we leave a couple of feet between her bed and the bunk bed.  If she is not fully asleep when we put her down, we come back to find that she has pushed the (pretty heavy) trundle right up to the bunk bed so that she can be closer to her big brother.

We have become addicted to the new Reggie Perrin, with Martin whats his name from Men Behaving Badly and Doc Martin.  Better than the original, I think.  And quite appropriate - man facing middle-aged crisis!

I'm going to take my blog off public viewing shortly.  IO have decided that I cannot talk in public about what are essentially Joey's issues.  I don't have the right.  Don't worry, Richard, I'll let you have continuing access.  And if any of my very few other readers really want to continue reading it, let me know by leaving a message.  I'll give it a week.

The problem with Joey, and I hate to use that word, is that he has both ADHD which means that he is full of energy and finds it difficult to focus and dyslexia, which makes him frustrated.  The result is an often angry little bit whose first impulses are often negative, who has to be directed and corrected and told off far too often and who therefore gets very frustrated.  If it was just one or the other, it would be OK.  Having both makes it a real challenge.

Some difficult days with Joey recently.  He seems to be getting increasingly nervous and fearful as school approaches (first day - 5 September), no matter how much we try and reassure him.  Ryan, his 'arch-nemesis' will not be there.  He will be the oldest in the class. Etc etc.  But he is still almost looking to fail, as if that would be preferable to really trying.  Why does he seem to choose these paths so often. It is worrying.  And it is expressing itself in his behaviour.  Worrying.

And he had a great time playing soccer with Chris, Jack and I yesterday evening.  I had a quick word with him before we started, just asking him to enjoy the game, have fun, not take it too seriously, not to overact etc.  And he was brilliant.  All four of us had a great time, lots of fun, and he then had a good end to the evening.

This morning started badly again, with Joey taking sooooo long over eating his breakfast, which led me to 'nagging' him and then an unrelated and completely over-the -top reaction.  Which led to Anne marching upstairs and putting him in casting, where he stayed for an hour or so.

When he came down, there was a long and difficult chat about what we expected of him re behaviour towards us.  And also some frank talk about how his over-reaction has, can and will lead to him not making or losing friends.  90% of the time, Joey is a brilliant and energetic playmate but there are times.........

Also pointed out to him the foolishness of spending 40 minutes plus in doing 10 minutes of homework because he fought it all the way and yet had never managed to get out of homework by acting that away.

Good news is that he did his homework very well, and has behaved very well for the rest of the day.

Good article in NYT today re drugging kids and the new 'normal'.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/19/opinion/sunday/raising-the-ritalin-generation.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

Lovely and cool last night.  Anne even felt it was cold and wanted to go inside when we were sitting outside chatting.

What were we chatting about?  You can guess.  Joey's behaviour has worsened again over the last few weeks.  Concern about forthcoming return to school?  Lack of structure over very long summer holidays?  Have we got something wrong.  Don't know but it is worrying.

But then the boxing went well, extremely well.  Joey's best session.  Managed 135 jumps on the rope, way past his previous record, and 10 criss cross jumps.  I can only manage a couple.  And used 5lb weights in his exercises.  Given that he did 2 x 30 reps of military lifts (where you lift the weights above your head) and 2 x 20 biceps curls, that it very impressive.  Very.  And considering that he did 7 hrs of gymnastics camp yesterday.

Coach told him that he was naturally athletic and strong to a level that many teenagers are not.

I had suggested to Joey in the car that he channel his anger into the boxing.  Maybe that worked!

Rough start with Joey this morning, who lost it over nothing.  Wanted to make a robot out of bits and pieces.  Nothing wrong with that but a) we didn't have the time as I was making breakfast and we then had to go to boxing and b) we didn't have the right kit and tools to hand.  Bad enough that he lost it, major tantrum, but that somehow he blamed himself for the failure to make the robot.

He asid something interesting to Anne when we eventually all calmed down and before leaving.  That he thought that by getting things right he would be happy.  But in this he means perfect.  Don't know where this came from.  Certainly nit us as we are constantly telling Joey that all we want for him to do is try his best and be happy, that whilst he is getting good at many things, he cannot and should not expect to be perfect.

We'll have to think carefully about how to deal with this.

Anne is worried that Joey is setting himself up to fail at Cambridge, getting worked up about it.  God, I hope she is wrong.  She and I agree that maybe Joey, for all his intelligence, is simply not ready to read.  And that he would do well at a Summerhill type school, where the kids are free to focus on what interests them, within a behaviour framework.  Problem is, that even if Joey wanted to do, say, science and nature, the other kids would presumably be able to read and write and Joey would be left out/behind.  If Cambridge doesn't work, I am not sure what we would do.

I might go to the pub tonight.

Kids spent 7 hrs at gymnastics camp today.  Yep, that's right, 7 hrs.  Seemed to enjoy it and learned some new tricks but both exhausted.  Izzy (who managed to get about 10 feet up the thick climbing rope) had her ice cream treat afterwards, fell asleep in the car and was in bed by 1730.  Joey came back and went out top play footie with Chris and I for 20 minutes.  He is not long for bed soon!

Difficult day for Joey yesterday.  Problem is that he gets frustrated with his shortcomings even when they are perfectly harmful.  Then he gets angry and a vicious circle begins with Anne and I losing patience.  Ended up having long discussion with Joey and then amongst ourselves.  Why will Joey not enjoy what he can do and be happy?

Kids first day at gymnastics today.  Fingers crossed.  They both should be good at it and enjoy it.  Issue for Joey will be whether or not he has to wait around too much in a big class.  If that happens, he will get distracted and lose focus, start messing around and then get in trouble.  Fingers and toes crossed.

Nothing from the doctor yet re nutrition.  Took lots of blood for various tests son will be a few weeks.  Joey, by all accounts, was impressively brave whilst having the blood taken, chatting away, asking questions and not flinching at all.  With Joey, he is v brave when it comes to something that he is prepared for.  When something happens suddenly, eg stubbing his toe, then it is very different and his reaction can be way over the top.

My niece, Christine, will make me rich.  She has just graduated from Princeton and has set up a company that will introduce a text-based system for matching service providers/job seekers and employers/customers in the informal sector in Kenya.  Made a presentation yesterday which I attended.  V impressive.  I have been able to help out a little with some contacts and intend to invest.  Not only does it have the potential to make good money but it will also benefit Kenya (and eventually all Africa and the developing world) substantially by making the informal sector more efficient.  V smart young lady.

Joey off to a nutritionist with Anne.  Would be great if we were able to identify a change in diet that would calm Joey down and help him focus a bit.  His confidence is really low sometimes.  He is aware that he is not quite the same as other kids but he overstates it and it has become a real problem.  He IS a smart, good kid, who is good-looking and healthy and very fit. He is starting to be good at lots of things.  But he does not realise it and puts himself down too much.  It is heartbreaking to hear him say that he is no good, that he is sad, that he has an empty heart.

One example.  He has started to do some drawings to accompany the story that he wrote about Mike the snail.  Really good efforts.  Not Picasso, perhaps, but certainly as good as I could have done at that age.  But he thinks that his drawings are 'rubbish'.  We are putting together a photo books, with the text and the scanned drawings which I think will look really good.  But he doesn't, at this moment, want anybody to see it because it is not good enough.

Yesterday we were playing at the playground.  He tried to jump for the third bar of the monkey bars, reached it but didn't get a good enough grip and fell on to his back.  He was in tears and angry, which is understandable.  But he also was upset because he felt that the other kids would feel that he was useless.  No matter how often we told him that none of the other kids there would even try and do what he did, it didn't make a difference.  It is a bit of a slog.

Then this morning he had a good hour with Mrs H then went off with her to school where she had some bits and pieces to do.  By her account, he was great company and very helpful.  He will stay in her class next year and there will be 4 other kids, all new boys.  Mrs H hope that Joey will step up and act as the senior boy, her lieutenant.  Being the oldest and most advanced kid will hopefully help his confidence.

Joey has tuition 3 times a week at 0830 with Ms Hoffman, a teacher from school.  She is v good with Joey and it usually goes well.  But Joey does not look forward to it and there are time when my patience is worn v thin.  V thin.  Especially when I only got to bed at 1130 pm after 2 hrs ironing and have just received a rather unhelpful email this morning from Alex's Mum.  Anne normally sleeps later than me so I get the kids breakfast but she can usually hear from bed if my patience is getting worn and will come down to rescue matters.

Had a few glasses of wine last night and came to two sort or decisions; we will look at a couple of houses in Hopewell which, although smaller than we would like, would keep us here and would be perfectly adequate for our needs.  I took a walk around the street - N Elm Street - yesterday evening and it is a nice area.  Secondly, returning to the ranch at some point remains a real possibility.  Much will depend on schooling etc but we could see a role for us in developing a real sustainable, organic business.  Would be exciting.

Joey will go to a nutritionist Monday.  We are more and more convinced that chemicals and processed food have a significant role in the rise of ADD etc over the last generation or two.  Will be interesting to see what he says.

Kids are in brilliant form this morning, playing with each other.  No TV or anything else.  Just running around, making games up.  The way it should be.  I hate video games.

I'm going to print my Juff in Brazil blog.  I have a found a printer but I have to cut and past all the posts onto a word document in the right order.  Didn't know that I had written so much so it is rather a long slog!  I am casting the odd glance at the contents.  I had forgotten half of what we went through!

We read to Joey every night and are currently going through the old Jenning's books that I had when I was a kid.  Joey loves them, although is a bit bemused by the vocabulary some times ; 'Whacko!' 'You codswallop!' etc etc.  But it is also difficult to get Joey to just calm down and listen sometimes.  The kid has so much energy.  before going to bed he was watching a BBC DVD on the first humans/apes so he was leaping around the room imitating a chimpanzee whilst I am recounting the adventures of Jen and Darbi.

Really enjoyed my 24hrs by myself.  Managed to do a lot.

Joey told this story in the car coming back from Anne's parents yesterday.  It is a bot sad in that it reflects how he feels about being a bit 'different' but it is also, I think, uplifting and positive in the way that it ends.

Once upon a time there was a snail named Mike. He lived in a place where there were many animals of different kinds. Of course, most of them were bigger and faster them him. And they were always being mean to him. But he didn’t care. He had a great imagination and made all sorts of worlds from his head. He pretended but when he pretended he could see amazing things. 

So he went out on a walk one day and he met a snail just like him. Her name was Myla. She had a great imagination too. She went over to him and said ”would you like to be my friend?” and he said ‘yes because I haven’t got any friends. And you could be my only one. 
I have a great imagination and stuff’.

So they played together every day. They made great games together. The other animals tried and tried to make fun of them but it didn’t work. Their friendship was too powerful to be harmed. But they knew one thing; that the other animals were really curious about why they were so slow. So the animals went right up to them and said ’ you guys are so slow, so pathetic. There’s a giant race tomorrow and you’re going to come in last’.

‘Maybe I will but I will accept the race’, said Mike. So they had the race, of course and, like the animals said, the snails came in last place. But something very strange happened. When the animals made fun of them they said they didn’t care and ‘it’s not about winning it’s about having fun and I did it with a very special friend, Myla’.  And then the snails also said that they were not upset about why they moved so slow. ‘It’s just the way I was made’, said Mike, ‘and you shouldn’t make fun of any animal because you are all made different. You are all unique and that’s the special thing about you’. And the big elephant said, ‘maybe we shouldn’t make fun of them. it’s just the way they are made’. ‘Like you baboon’, said the cheetah, ‘you can climb trees better than I can. but I am faster than you and I have spots and you don’t. Also, your hair is longer. It’s a fact. Ha, ha, ha’.  So none of the animals were ever mean to each other again. and they all lived happily ever after. 

THE END

dictated and illustrated by Joey Juleff

Anne and kids off to her Mm's for 24 hrs.  freedom!  So what do I do with it?  Tidy up basement and bedrooms.  More housework to do.  But I will get out this evening - to take some photos of Hopewell for the local Library contest.  And then do the ironing whilst watching a DVD.  Oh, the excitement!

Been to the rheumatologist.  He doesn't think I have gout.  Hurrah!  Just some tendinitis allied with a calcium build-up on the joint which made the initial doc think that.  Good news.

Went downstairs at 0700 to find the kids halfway through Mrs Doubtfire.  Izzy has now joined the ranks of the 'crack of dawn' kids.  Much as I am in favour of those who get up early, I do wish she would lie in a bit!

Drinking wine with the wife.  Pondering next moves re ouse buying as our bid on the historic house in Pennington has been rejected.  What to do?
And Anne is making popcorn.  I will stick with my mature Irish cheddar and Haywards pickled onions.  Can't beat them.

Joey is perpetual motion.  Really.  You don't notice it until it is a v hot day and nothing planned.  Then he drives you nuts.  In the nicest possible way.

Just back from Jack and Charlies Ice Cream parlour in town, on bikes.  And, of course, the heavens opened up whilst we were there.  Joey loved cycling in the rain!

Bloody hot.  And humid.  Nobody feels like doing very much.

I note that somebody in Russia has been reading my blog.  I would love to know who it is!

I have gout in my right thumb.  Bashed up after too many years of rugby.  V tender hence lack of posts.  getting better sop hopefully will be able to type better later today.

Lashing down with rain.  Great for garden etc.  Doe and two fawns having a snack on front lawn.

Had first liquid lunch.  Tasty enough.  Now 1530 and I am not starving.  Bit gassy, though!

Speaking of camp.  Kids have been at the Waldorf School camp last week and this week, ends Friday.  They then have another month before school starts!  Far too long.  Whatever shall we do with them?

Showed Joey some of the Olympics gymnastics last night and he was quite inspired.  Might get him into a gymnastics camp.  He has the build for it.

Put first bid in for house in Pennington.  Bigger and more expensive than we really want but not much else out there.  We have gone low and they have come back this morning with a counter-offer which is too high.  We shall see what happens!

Anne is really into these health shows/documentaries.  Watched one last night that was actually quite inspirational.  'Fat, sick and nearly Dead'.  Not that any of my very few readers fit that bill, I hope, but still worth watching.  An Aussie bloke who finds good health through going on a juice fast, and then inspires others.  Very good.  Anne out shopping for a juicer now.  Not sure that I want to fast but I do agree that we eat far too much processed food (yes, even us) and that diet needs rebalancing to eat more veggies and fruit and less carbs, meat etc.  Not to mention junk food.  We shall see what happens!

Dad left yesterday.  It was a good visit and we did a lot, but he is glad to be home and it is nice to have the house to ourselves.  Including the trip to England and some of Anne's family staying for a few days, we have been either on the road or had visitors for the best part of 2 months.  Enough!