Joey seems to have recovered from the tortilla chips.  What difference does it make?  When Joey's body is not being poisoned, he is pleasant, affectionate and funny.  He stops what he is doing when asked.  Or reasonably shortly thereafter.  He comees when caalled and, usually, replies when asked something.  He plays well with Izzy, and the other younger kids.  He is not 'hyper'.  He listens better. He will quite happily spend a few hours messing around by himself, usually doing something constructive like drawing or building something.  He is happier.

Which makes a difference to wwhen he is not well; it is difficult to get him to stop what he is doing.  He is impulsive and over-reacts to any sudden pain or annoyance (which is what happened last night).  He seems to lose that filter which we all usually have which stops us just saying or doing the first thing our feelings tell us.  He can be short, and even nasty, with Izzy, and show little empathy for her, or others. Everyone is 'mean' to him and against him.  He finds school frustrating and doesn't want to go. He then becomes miserable and calls himself stupid and rubbish.  The tears flow.  Everyone gets stressed. 

So you can see why we are praying that this diet works.

Met the Hopewell Mayor at the street party, Paul.  Democrat, he has been mayor for 5 years.  Hope well is very democratic, by more than 2-1.  Good news!  Was a v pleasant evening altogether.  Met a few new neighbours, had a few glasses of wine, sitting in the street around a fire whilst the kids (not ours - they were in bed early) played in somebodies pool.  V civilised.

We have to be much more careful about Joey's food.  We went to our street party at 1700 yesterday, taking steaks etc with us.  But, of course, nothing really got started for a while.  And there was loads of junk food laid out.  Joey asked if he could eat some tortilla corn chips (great that he asked), Anne had a quick look at the bag, and said yes.  Within minutes, Joey was upset and emotional about something.  Calmed down and then had a small accident with a bike and over-reacted severely, very emotional.  Anne too him home.

We must do better.  We should have eaten at home, ensuring that the kids ate a healthy meal and would not be tempted by anything.  Shame on us for getting that wrong but we will learn.

A pity, because Joey had had a great day, playing really well with Chris.  We will get there.

Anne did some research last night and it seems that even corn chips can have gluten in them.  Good news is that it seems that Joey's reaction to gluten seems to be relatively short-lived, albeit severe.  Whereas the reaction to dairy seems to be longer-lived.  He certainly seems OK so far today.

Anne had the cleaners in today.  I do help but I know it is not enough, and Anne has got fed up with trying to keep the house clean, do all the cooking and worry about Joey.  Hopefully she will be more relaxed now - and from that other benefits may flow!

Obtained my NJ driving licence today.  Quite a simple process.  I had gone to the NJMVC a few weeks ago to really find out what to do and found myself with a permit and informed that I didn't need to a driving test, but could do the computer-based knowledge test there.  As you can take it every 7 days if you fail, I gave it a lash.  I scored 38/50, when you need 40 to pass.  Went back a week later after an hour or so flicking through the drivers manual - and scored 33/50!  So took it a bit more seriously and went back and scored my 40 with plenty to spare.

And another good day for Joey.  Hopefully the effects of the food were the cause of the regression in behaviour and that has now worn off.  We will have to be vigilant.

And Joey has been selected to be the understudy to the Cat in the school performance of 'Honk', which is quite a major part.   And will be the Turkey (which is a small but, it seems, funny part), part of the Cat chorus and also a farmyard animal.  Quite a lot for his first play!

A good day for Joey yesterday.  Mrs H said that he was a 'delight' when I saw here when picking Joey up.  He was pretty good at home as well.  Bit of a moan when taking him to school this morning, but not too much.  But he needs to be like this consistently, not just the odd day.

Had a good Brazilian dinner last night - which the kids loved.  Carne moeda (sp?) which is basically ground beef mixed with some peppers and spices, then mixed with black beans and rice.  And both kids also trid broccoli - and liked it!

Work.  Looks like BP will agree to fund the new Bioeconomy Institute within Imperial College - but with conditions.  Mark and Jem will meet with BP Monday and we should know then whether the conditions are acceptable or not.  Should also hear next week whether or not I got the website editor position.

Great if both work out, also good if only one does.  If neither do, not the end of the world - Anne and I have been talking about setting up some sort of business around what we have learned through researching Joey's condition.  Organic stuff.

We kept ourselves to one bottle so that was good.  Chilled out watching Hugh Laurie in 'Forty Something'.  Quite good.

So what is it with Joey at the moment.  As I have mentioned before, the problem is he has a number of issues.  One is the food intolerance, which the diet should hopefully deal with. The other major one is the dyslexia.  The result is that, at present, he has ingrained habits or fears, or insecurities, that will take time to resolve.  One major one, that caused a big problem, is the fear of failure, when it comes to reading and writing in particular.

He had a fairly simple writing homework yesterday - which I did in the car with him after taking him to the barbers (wow, does that kid's hair grow thick and fast!).  It took 30 minutes and many tears to compete it because he didn't want to try, didn't want to make a mistake.  When he did write, he would not let e watch whilst he did it.  The result was OK - not great spelling but nice writing and it was understandable.  But it took all that time and emotion to do something which he is capable of doing, albeit imperfectly, in 5 minutes.  We keep trying to get the message through to hime that making mistakes is not a problem, that all we ask is that he give it a go, that if he tries, he will eventually get it right.  But if he never tries, he will never get it right.  But it is hard work.  His self-esteem is so fragile.

A difficult day with Joey in some ways.  Anne quite upset.  Off to Liquor store.  One bottle.

Went to the Boro offices.  Satisfied with risk.  Will buy house.

We are getting better.  Enjoyed one bottle of wine between us last night and, despite all the stresses, did not go out for a second.

A really good for Joey at school.  'We saw a different side of him today' said Mrs H.  And pretty good at home as well, after a difficult start at breakfast which led to Anne really losing her temper with him.  He takes ages to eat, then complains if we try and help him and then complains that he does not have any time to play or watch a bit of Youtube before going to school.  Perhaps a really good telling off is just what he needs now and then.  In fact, we have said that in the past!  Anyway, it seems that whatever he ate that did not agree has passed through him now.  Fingers crossed.

Been down to check the house and layout.  Spoke to some of the neighbours and we are more reassured.  My guess is that we will buy.

Just learned from the lawyer, Kris, that the easement might not be such a problem as the lot we were concerned about has been merged with the lot facing onto Prospect Street, which means that a house cannot be put there unless an application fora variance to do so is successful  Anne due back shortly so we will need to decide what to do.

Hard to believe that just a morsel of food can make any difference but see correspondence between Anne and Charlie, our nutritionist.

You are welcome.

Absolutely – gluten and casein can have immediate effects.  We are talking about minute particles for some children.  Remember the little boy who had a tiny bite of his sister’s pizza on Xmas Eve?  He was running around in circles for days afterwards.  Took about 2 weeks to get out of his system. 

On the positive side, this shows just how profoundly these foods effect our children.

Take a deep breath and read the information I just sent you.  Then re-read it.  Make a cuppa and then read it again J

Talk with Stockton Family Practice about maybe adding digestive enzymes to catch any infractions.  May be very helpful here.  Also, implement the Die-Off protocol I gave you, if you are unsure about this, call Stockton.

Don’t worry about the carbs counteracting the protein.  Just make sure he has protein.  Sausage can be made with many different meats – look at Wholefoods, make your own meat patties, etc. 

Try adding a protein smoothie every other day or so.

Write down each breakfast, after a few days you will have a week’s worth and you can use that as your template.  Doesn’t have to be complicated.

Hang in there.

Best

Charlie

From: Gery Juleff [mailto:gjuleff@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2012 10:06 PM
To: cefall@comcast.net
Subject: RE: Joey Juleff - Initial Notes
Importance: High

Hi,

Thanks so much for following up with us and for your other e-mails. I have removed gluten, dairy, yeast eggs and all the other 2 &3  foods from Joey's diet.

After a brilliant week last week Joey's behaviour has been horrific since Saturday afternoon. Joey put dairy milk instead of soy milk in his cereal Saturday morning. Gery thought he caught the mistake before Joey ate any but he's not sure. Could such a small amount of milk cause problems for 3 days? Could he still be going through withdrawal? Should I be giving him Alka selzer? What sort of protein would you reccommend for snacks? He loves chorizo but that has lactic acid starter culture which I assume he shouldn't eat. We always give Joey either bacon or sausage in the morning but without eggs we have been giving him cornflakes as well. Should we avoid cereal in the morning or do the proteins counteract the carbs? 

Sorry for having so many questions but we're a bit lost and frustrated at the moment.

Thanks

Anne

Bollox.  Lawyer has let us know that there is an issue with easement on the house that we want to buy. Essentially, it gives access to three plots behind us.  Only one house uses it and that is inhabited by a nice old couple.  Problem is that if the other two plots are developed, then we would lose a fair chunk of the garden and, worst case scenario, would have some obnoxious neighbours having access.  We have 24 hrs, less now, to decide what todo.  Go ahead.  Buy the house we are renting?  Start looking again?  Bollox!

Joey has clearly regressed in the last couple of days, and it is very upsetting, especially to Anne.  We cannot explain it but he has gone back to over-reacting and to whining like a 4yr old at times.  We are pulling our hair out.  He has an audition for the school musical this afternoon.  Hopefully that will go well and he will get the part of the Malicious Cat.

Part of Joey's problem is that he will not listen to advice or to accept help when it is needed and offered.     So when he reads out a line from memory and I correct it because it is slightly worn, he gets upset and say's that nobody will know when they do the play.  I point out that he is learning it for the audition and that the teachers will be better impressed if he has learned his lines properly.   He does not take the advice well.

Had my phone i/v with bp re position as Biofuels Done Well website editor.  It went well, I thought.  They had some others to i/v during the week and I should hear next week.  Olly, the senior one on their side, also said that the response to the Bioconomy Institute proposal from Imperial College would be passed to Mark this week, and that it was 'yes but if....' ie they would fund it but there were conditions.  Positive.

Joey let the toilet seat drop.  Told him to be careful and lower it as Izzy was going to sleep.  He lifted it again to put some tissues in, and dropped it.  I lost my temper.  Ahhhh.  Going to pub.

Not the best day for Joey.  Anne was in Ridgewood for her Uncle Cal's funeral so I had the kids from 1600 yesterday.  Good last night and great this morning but then a  few over-reactions around lunch.  Then I went to a photography class and the child-minder took them up to her farm for a few hours, to play with her siblings.  Did not go well.  She said that he was over-sensitive and called the other kids mean.  By Joey's account, there is some truth in the allegations but Joey probably over-reacted.  Still, we knew it would be a work in progress and he has a bit of a cold and probably unsettled by Anne not being here.

Joey was slightly off today - a bit of a cold - and there were no other kids around so let him watch more TV than usual.  But it was Into the Universe with Stephen Hawkins so I hope that we can be forgiven!

Went to a climate change discussion in Princeton yesterday evening.  Useful in that I was able to chat to Rob Socolow.  And some good speakers.  But they tried to balance the debate by having two from each side of the debate.  Meant that anybody undecided came out even more undecided because the skeptics were able to put forward their cases in a plausible manner that any non-scientist, and many scientists, would find difficult to dismiss in such a setting because it is so complex.  As one questioner put it, the panel should really have 97 scientists putting the case for action on climate change and only 3 against.  That would more accurately reflect the true scientific consensus.

Anne spent the day out shopping for organic furniture yesterday.  Are we being paranoid?  Maybe a bit but so many kids are having problems these days and there are so many toxins and chemicals out there, so maybe it is not a coincidence.  Anyway, read this;

As I researched, I found out that studies had linked these chemicals to SIDS, every mother’s worst nightmare. When the flame retardants (particularly antimony, arsenic and phosphorus) mix with the fungi caused by baby’s urine, perspiration, and drool in a mattress, poison gasses are released. Breathed for an extended time even in minute quantity, these nearly odorless gases can interrupt the choline/acetylcholine transfer of nervous impulses from the brain to the heart and lungs. That shuts down the central nervous system; heart function and breathing stop. Babies who have been recently immunized, or have compromised immune systems are at even higher risk. In New Zealand, which had the highest rate of crib death in the world, a mattress wrapping campaign was begun. Parents were urged to wrap their mattresses in a high-grade polyethylene plastic. Since the conception of this campaign in 1996, not one baby has died on a wrapped, or an organic mattress. This is a 100% success rate and yet the crib death researchers are not acknowledging this very important connection. In America, no one is telling us to wrap our mattresses and the chemical soaking of beds continues.

In adults the nightly breathing in of these toxins may cause nausea, watering eyes, runny noses, headaches, respiratory problems, impaired learning and memory (ADHD?), birth defects, liver, kidney, brain and heart muscle damage. People with allergies, asthma, and other preexisting conditions are at even greater risk. In our exploration of trying to buy a non-toxic bed we also investigated the popular “memory foam” type mattresses, which boldly claims to be non-toxic. After sifting through many, many consumer reviews, we found that people who had purchased these mattresses suffered the same symptoms, with a few more added – nosebleeds, vomiting, and most commonly, horrible joint pain. Doctors could not figure out what was causing their symptoms, but when the mattresses were removed, these people became healthy once again. I have to wonder how many more folks are out there in ill health who would never suspect they are being poisoned by their bed! I have come to believe that those who are sensitive and actually have a noticeable physical reaction to their new bed, or other environmental toxins, are actually the lucky ones. They are forced into to getting rid of the poisons. The people who do not feel the effects are still at risk, though many may not suffer the consequences for years to come.

BP were supposed to tell us this week if they would provide the funding for the Bioeconomy Institute that Imperial want to set up, and who I would work for on a consultancy basis.  I wish they would just tell us!

I have a phone i/v Monday with the BP biofuels guy, Olly, about being editor of the 'Doing Biofuels Well' website, which they want to fund.  Would be a good job, largely working from home (although that is not all positive!).  Also still have an application in with Princeton University but that process seems to take very long and there is no transparency at all!

Joey did a full day at school today - and I got the thumbs up from Mrs H when I picked him up.  He came home with a playmate, Andrew, and they are happily running around, having a good time.

What I can't understand, though, is how Joey can get through the day without eating anything, or hardly anything.  I just checked his lunch box and his pasta was mostly still there, as were his carrots.  Those of you know me will understand that I find this incredulous!

Yet another good day for Joey.  Was good at school then;

- did his homework OK
-  Chris and Jack came over and they spent over an hour on the trampoline, with Izzy and Jack's wee sister.  Joey much better at reacting to anything unexpected, or not getting his own way.  Not perfect but..........
-  we went through the script for his audition.  I read out the lines and we went through it - about a page of text - and he had largely memorised it after reading it twice.  I envy his memory!
-  a good dinner
-  then Aaron and Jess came over as their Mum had to pop out for a bit.  Played really well again, ending with Joey showing Aaron what he had dome on Mine Craft.  Then shower with no problems and 15 mins more on MineCraft which he ended calmly.
-  whilst he was eating supper, I showed him a quick run through of all the photos I have of him, from Brazil, England, Ireland, the US etc, from the first day that we got him to now.  'Quite a life, you have had' I said.  'Yes, I don't why I sometimes thunk it is rubbish sometimes.  It has been pretty good!'

Anne and I are about to sit down with a glass of wine, but not because of stress!  And I think that she has forgiven me for burning the feijao (black beans)!

Another good day for Joey, despite being very tired.  He said that he did not sleep well as he was stressed about going to school (yesterday was a school holiday).  At school he was allowed to chill out for 15 minutes at recess in the nurses room where there was a bed and Anne pocked him up for lunch.  But otherwise he was fine and even stayed on an extra 90 minutes for the meeting to discuss the school spring musical.  He came out all excited - he want to play the cat,  malicious but funny - in the play and has the casting info that he needs to start rehearsing lines and a song for the audition.  Given his performance, solo, at the ned of year ceremony, I think that he will do well and it will be interesting to see if his acting skills are as good as his singing!  We always said that he was a bit of a drama queen so we are confident!

Izzy is a wee madame.  She likes Anne to take her to and from school but Anne could not take her yesterday.  Combine that with a surprising dislike of some cheese than Anne had given her (she normally loves mild cheese) and all I got was her screaming 'I hate cheese' as I drove her to school.  She calmed down and was fine going in, especially after I had reassured her that Mummy would pick her up.

Which, of course, she was unable to do.  I walk into the room, Izzy sees me, immediately frowns and crosses her arms and gives me a withering look.  I get an earfull all the way home and then, as she is about to walk in the door off the garage, she turns, smiles and says 'Don't worry, Daddy, I do love you'.  Women!

Well, it was a very good day for Joey, so maybe that proverbial corner has been turned.  It might be useful to give a short summary here of what has happened to Joey and what we are trying to do.

It is, of course, complex.  Joey has been hit by a number of issues, that became a sort of vicious circle.  The dyslexia we knew about - or have known about for just under 2 years.  It had been hidden to some extent by the fact that Joey had some developmental issues caused, we guessed, by his first year of life, when he was very malnourished, by the moving around and disruptions to his life, and by the fact that his first two years of 'schooling' were in a very basic Brazilian village school, in Portuguese.   All of this led to a delay in identifying the dyslexia.

The dyslexia led to problems with schooling and with Joey's self-esteem and then to his behavioural problems.  Which, I should stress, were not very severe but were serious enough to give real concern.  He never stopped being a lovely wee boy but there was so much frustration and anger there that it did bubble up and out too often.

Eventually, and sadly rather late in the day, we started to think that there might be more than the dyslexia.  This was largely through conversations with parents in the same position who had kids on the 'autism spectrum' and who had come to believe that outside, environmental factors, including diet, might have had a negative impact on their children, who had taken steps with their diets and who reported real progress.  We undertook our own research (or, I should say in all honesty, Anne did) and came to the conclusion that Joey might also be affected by these factors.

As readers will know, we then took Joey to get all the blood, urine and hair tests.  These showed intolerance to certain foods - mainly yeast and dairy - and the presence of certain heavy metals and toxins in his body, which most people are able to excrete.  Not sure why he is unable to do this but it is increasingly common and almost certainly die to some environmental issues that affect the immune system.  Perhaps from the pollution and toxins that existed when his biological mother was pregnant and when he was a baby in Rio?  He has been on the new diet since last Tuesday.  So we had a vicious circle of slow emotional development (caused by that first year, perhaps enhanced by deep insecurity caused by adoption?), frustration and poor self-esteem caused by the dyslexia and then additional problems regarding lack of focus, impulsivity, emotional volatility and poor social skills caused by the food intolerance etc.   Add them up and it is to Joey's great credit that he has done as well as he has.

We now hope for a virtuous circle.  He will likely be a bit immature for a while (and will never be big!) but that should pass.  But the new diet will reduce the impulsivity and the other symptoms  mentioned above.  A calmer, more focussed Joey will do better at pretty much everything, which will in turn give him greater confidence (and note that he has shown real promise in certain areas; his boxing, his singing, his memory and imagination, his energy, his confidence in certain situations and so on.  Despite everything, he gets great plaudits from a number of people for being a great wee kid).  We will not have to be on his case so much, which will reduce stress and tension for all of us.  His teachers will be able to teach him better, so his reading and writing should make better progress, which in turn will boost his confidence, which in turn will reduce the frustration and the negative reactions at times, which in turn will enable him to do better and so on and so forth.

We already see signs of this.  He only had one negative reaction to something today, when I was a bit sharp with him.  He played very well with Izzy and the wee boy next door, Linden, who had previously been rather afraid of playing with Joey.  He played happily by himself for a few hours, drawing and making things, and then with Aaron and Jesse from down the street.  He brushed his teeth off his own bat.  He finished his 20 mins of Mine Craft with no argument.  He want to bed early and lay quietly whilst I read to him whereas before he would be bouncing off the wall and unable to calm down.

One swallow does not a summer make.  But we are hopeful.  The future for Joey will not be without its ups and downs.  As a starter, the diet is restrictive and, whilst Anne is able to do wonders at home (and she does) it will be more difficult when travelling or eating out.  He has to take 8 supplements a day.  These are to make up for the continuing malnourishment that he (unbeknown to us) has still been suffering from due to his body not absorbing his food properly.  One is fish oil, to boost brain functions, four are vitamin supplements and the last three, taken with meals, are binding agents that attach themselves to any toxic elements in his intestines so that they pass through and out, rather than being sucked back into his organs.  Finally, we have been giving his melatonin at night to help sleep.  That one we will stop shortly, even though it is natural.  But the others he will have to continue taking for the foreseeable future.

He will be alcohol intolerant so unlikely to have many father and son pints - but given his mothers schizophrenia, this is not a bad thing. 

Time will tell whether this will be truly effective but the signs from the first week are positive.  We are hoping that we will have our Joey back!

And, to be honest, our own lives.  We are still dealing with Isabela's adoption and unable to return to our ranch, have moved country and house (the move down the street next month will be our our 9th move in 10 years!), I am unemployed (soon to change, I hope!) and seem to have spent most of the last several years dealing with rather stressful issues.  Next thing you know, Joey will be thriving, Isabela's adoption will be resolved and we will return to the ranch, we will love our new home and I will have a great and reasonable stress-free job.  What will we do with ourselves!

 

Kids have been up since about 070, and are in great form after a good night's sleep.  No nagging for TV.  We messed around, watched a bit of Bolero and Torville and Dean on youtube, they did some drawing, ate a good breakfast (organic cornflakes and soy milk again for Joey with no problems).  So, good start to the day.

Are we becoming paranoid?  Anne has been researching and reading about the chemicals and toxins imbedded in everyday objects, including clothing and furniture.  Of particular concern are the flame retardants in furniture, which are mandatory in the US and which, research informs us, were imposed at the behest of the tobacco industry to avoid problems with people falling asleep with lit cigarettes and setting the sofa or bed afire.  But these retardants are themselves strong chemicals and there is evidence that they contribute to the general high levels of chemicals and toxins in our daily lives.  So we are starting to look for furniture without these.  Not easy.

And then there is cotton.  I always thought cotton fairly harmless but in fact the cotton industry uses a vast amount of chemicals - one of the highest users of pesticides and herbicides and then significant amount of chemicals in the processing.  So we are now looking for organic cotton or wool substitutes for bed linen and clothing.  Not that we are going to throw everything out!  But a gradual move.  Most immediate is the bed linen for the kids, as they do spend a lot of time in bed.

Interesting.  Joey was given a munchkin doughnut by the neighbour this afternoon.  After  couple of days of improved behaviour, his behaviour was certainly worse late afternoon and early evening about 2hrs after having ate it.  First of all, there were some minorish problems over soccer, when he makes a mistake and pouts. He had problems with his bloody Mine Craft game and then got upset and sat on the stairs, tearfully proclaiming that he was a failure.  Now, he was tired after a late night last night so it is impossible to say what the relationship was between the doughnut and the worsened behaviour but............ That is, strange enough, good news as it would indicate that it really is all about the food.  We shall see.

Joey ate organic cornflakes with soy milk this morning - and liked it!  Big result, really big.  Otherwise we were stuck with bacon and eggs (whites only) for the foreseeable future.

We went to the Monster Truck night at the track in Englishtown last night, with the kids and with the Allens (Lorna and Bruce et al).  Quite an experience.  Amazing array of trucks, all chrome and lights and gleaming paintwork.  Incredible amount of fumes and toxins so I would hate to work there.  There were, of course, the Monster Trucks, big pick-ups and giant wheels who race over wrecked cars.  Kids loved it.  Then there were the drag cars, driven by rockets with great bursts of flames coming out the back and so noisy that it hurt your ears.  The accelerated to 305 mph within a hundred yards or so.  A good night out!

Our offer on the house next door has been accepted!  So looks like we are on the move again, but this will be the shortest one yet.  Since Anne and I got back together, we have had quite a few moves - from Rio to a few months in Ridgewood New Jersey, staying with her parents, to Cheveney Place in Kent, to the wee flat back in Rio and then the ranch, then to the rented accommodation in Cobham before moving to Oxshott and then over here to Hopewell.  So this move will be the ninth home in just over 10 years.  We need some stability!

We are now both content with our decision, indeed we are quite excited.  Readers will by now know how much we like this wee town and this wee street, particularly for the kids.  We have not bought it yet, of course, but the price has been agreed and we are cash buyers so there should not be any problems.

Slowly, slowly but our Joey does seem to be coming back.  He has been playing very well with Izzy for the past hour or so and had a good day at school.  Apart from being upset at not being able to eat the cupcakes brought in for some kids birthday!

Well, we have put an offer in for the neighbour's house.  Not a perfect house but nice enough, bit bigger and with a better yard than the one we are in at the moment.  We will probably hear early next week if our offer has been accepted.  Somebody else has put an offer in, so we shall see!

Neighbours house is for sale.  Going to see it tomorrow.  Should we buy and stay on this street even if it is not 100% what we are looking for?  Watch this space!

As Anne has just said 'Wouldn't it be lovely if we had our Joey back.  And if I could be one of those Mums writing testimonials about how the diet helped their kid so much?'

New diet has started - with some old favourites.  Pork chops, rice and feijao.  With cabbage.  Anne spent what seemed like a couple of hours shopping today getting all the new stuff in.

Interestingly enough, Joey had a real melt down yesterday late afternoon.  But it seems that that is a good design - if he has problems with intolerance for these foods, then there is often a negative reaction initially for a few days to a week.  So we kept him off school today and he just chilled at home.  went well.  Fingers crossed.

I sure hope that the new diet will help[ Joey.  I am struggling at times to deal with some aspects of his behaviour.  In essence, we are butting heads.  I ask him to do something and sometimes I have to ask several times and it then becomes a conflict.  From my perspective, I am asking for something quite reasonable and I should not need to always explain why he has to do it eg come down the stairs to finish his dinner.  I ask him 2 or 3 times and then I insist and when he he asks me why, I say because I am telling him to.  Yesterday at dinner, Anne then intervened on Joey's side (as I saw it) and I just got fed up and went upstairs to get away from it all for a while.  It turns out that Joey was then very upset at having upset me.

I should, of course, have behaved better myself.  It is difficult but I do think that when we let Joey get off with too much, it blurs the boundaries of what is and is not acceptable behaviour and that does him no good either.  It is so difficult to get the balance right.  Not being on his case all the time, building hyis confidence but also ensuring that he does understand what is and is not acceptable behaviour.

Joey went back to the doctor Monday to discuss results from blood, hair and urine tests.  Quite radical.  Joey is intolerant to a number of foods.  Some of them obscure and will hardly impact on him eg dill and horeseradish.  But others are more significant.  Cheese and dairy products.  Chicken eggs.Yeast - which rules out pretty much all alcohol.  Not important now but there goes the father and son pints.  Mind you, given Joey's biological mother's mental problems, probably not a bad thing.  Also cranberry, oysters and sesame.

OK for gluten.  So could be a lot worse.

We have new neighbours in the wee house next door.  Big improvement on the couple of women that were there before.  Partly because they actually talk to us but more importantly because they have a 5yr old boy who loves playing with Izzy.  And who does not want to come over here so Izzy has spent the last hour over there playing very happily whilst I get on with things!

Joey a bit unhappy going to school this morning but in the end was OK with promise that he could come home for lunch.

Start of discussions with Anna re Alexander's visit at Xmas.  Good news is that she did not argue against the fact that it is my turn to have him for Xmas itself.  She did complain that I didn't look after Alex's toenails during the summer, which I freely admit to.  But she can't have it both ways - saying that Alex is old enough to make his own decisions and then say that he can't look after his own toenails.  

More importantly, she is once again trying to cut down the length of the visit.  I am due to have him from 20-28 December but his school only ends on the 21 December.  Her proposal is that I only have him from 22-28 December.   So, as usual, I will be the only one to have my time with hyim cut.  I have gone back with a compromise - leave Stockholm on 22 and then leave here on the 29th.  I await a measured and reasonable response.

Actually cool when I walked to get the paper this morning at 0630!  I was wearing only shorts and t-shirts, fair enough, but even so it is a clear signal that the summer is coming to an end.

I have called Alexander every day for a week or so and no-one picks up the phone.  Very frustrating.

Friday went well at school as well, and Joey has made a new friend, William.  His Mum called last night - seems that William won't stop talking about Joey and we have arranged a playdate.  Unfortunately they live an hour away so won't be easy to get them playing often but we will try!

Friday was also a day where the neighbourhood kids were out and about so ours just joined in.  Then went to a wee fair at the local elementary school just up the road.  Interesting to see Joey interact with other kids again - most of whom he did not know.  Perfectly well.  Quite vigorous, to say the least, but these kids seemed to be all the same and theirs was perfectly normal horse play for 9yr olds.

He did, unfortunately, have a bit of a tantrum at the end for no good reason.  Tired but that is no real excuse and he still has to make progress on how he reacts to unexpected disappointments.

Good day today.  There was an 'icecream social' after school at 1200 in the school playground.  That is where we met the American woman who had adopted her two kids.  We ended up heading back to our place where the three mothers (another one came along) had a good chat (I was at the dentist most of this time) whilst the kids played for 90 minutes, played very well.  Then after lunch and 30 mins of downtime, Joey and Izzy were out again playing with the local kids until dinner.  All went very well.

And Ms Hofman was v pleased with Joey's behaviour at school.  And we were able to watch him play and interact with the other schoolkids during the social and he was v comfortable.  Full of energy and running around and very much participating on an equal basis.

Finally, when Anne asked Joey this evening what he wanted to do tomorrow - stay in school all day or have an extended lunch at home, he chose to stay in school.  Hurray!

Would you Adam and Eve it?!  Joey has a new schoolmate, Mark, who is adopted in the US but who has a sister, aged 4yrs, called Isabela and who was adopted in Brazil!  Small world, or what!  And she has hair just like our Isabela who, of course is also 4yrs old and adopted in Brazil.

Mixed first day for Joey.  he was happy enough but had misinterpreted our encouragement to help Ms Hoffman and take responsibility as the only not new boy to tell the other poor kids that he was boss and that they had to dop what he said.  Ah well, it was never going to be easy.

Another good day for the kids.  Joey is due to start school tomorrow and seems far more relaxed.  went to the movies with Anne today and then into Barnes and Noble afterwards where he bought a book on how to draw.  His drawing skills have been coming on nicely recently and he went up stairs to to his bedroom and did really well drawing a Greek warrior!
Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

Can't believe what a bunch of deceitful tossers the Republic leadership is.  Wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.  Romney in particular should be ashamed of himself.  I am so pissed off that I am heading off to join a local Democratic Party group watching the Obama speech Thursday!

It was a good weekend for all of us, including Joey.  He seems much less anxious now, and his behaviour is consequently much better.  Indeed, our hosts, Lorna and Bruce, thought he was wonderful!  He plaayed very well with the other three kids and it was pretty much a tantrum-free weekend.  He also did a couple of things that helped his self estemm.  We went to a failt basic adventure park.  There was a wee go-kart track which Joey and Bruce Jr wwent on.  Joey really enjoyeed it and was well in control of his go-kart - despte saying on numerous occasions before starting that he was a 'rubbish' driver.  He particularly enjoyed driving at full speed through aa couple of mud puzzles and the manic look on his face as he did so was a joy to behold!
 
Then there was the jump from a tower onto a giant air cushion.  It has almost always been the case that Joey will look to Anne or I for confirmation that he can do a jump.  If we say he can, then he normally will have a go.  On this occasion we did and he was the only one of the four kids to have the balls to do it.  Twice.  He was very pleased with himself.
 
We attended a v cute airshow in Rhinebeck, NY, Sunday afternoon, mainly biplanes.  Really nicely done, small scale, bit amateurish but good fun.  There was a bit of a show involved a wicked German and a heroine etc.  Anne and the kids dressed up in vintage clothes and joined a wee parade.  Joey, as always, enjoyed the drama and showing off, dressed like a wee urchin with waistcoat and cap.  Izzy, strangely enough, wwas much shyer.  She is going through a shy period.
 
 
Yesterday evening, though, there was a rather strange incident.  Not sure howw it started but Joey got aa minor telling off for something aand ended up crying in Anne's arms asking why he was so naughty and bad and worse than other kids.  We tried to reassure him that he wasn't and that all kids got into trouble sometime.  He was OK fairly quickly but a reminder that thee are still issues with Joey that are far from being resolved.
 
But, to end on a high, Joey did his first dive today, at Anne's parent's house.  He haas resisted doing so for some time butAnne managed to get im to try and he did really well.  They key was to get him to pick a spot in the water and then aim for it.  The kid did good.

Izzy took a real shine to Fred, who is slightly older.  Both our two were very excited about having their first sleep-over.   Izzy’s big disappointment was that she would not actually be sleeping in the same bed as Fred.  She was determined to do so and kept on asking him.  Got a bit scary when she unpacked her wee back-pack and out came a pair of handcuffs!  Then Fred walked in whilst Izzy was getting ready for bed and only had her top on.  When she saw Fred, she started gyrating and thrusting her naked hips towards Fred and going ‘Oh yeah, oh yeah!’.  God help us when she is 14, never mind 4 years old!

Spent weekend in Windham, upstate NY, with Lorna and Bruce, and their two kids.  A good weekend.  Plenty of fresh air, kids had a ball and we have a few glasses of wine and a v nice French meal Saturday.  

V tired this morning.  Good weekend (see later posts) but stayed at Anne’s parents’ house and mattress killed me.  Woke up at 0400.  And, of course, it is the third anniversary of Mum’s death.  I’m OK but not exactly full of the joys of spring.  Spoke to Dad.  He is coping after what was, I think, a hard week for him.  Haven’t had a chance to speak to Sharon.  She has a lot on her plate, with trying to sell the house in order to pay off the debts incurred when Chris’s company went bankrupt.